


i call it love

by sechung



Category: PRISTIN (Band)
Genre: College!AU, F/F, ft other pristin members and other idols, yebins in a shitty band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-16 01:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sechung/pseuds/sechung
Summary: Being in love with Minkyung is chasing something she can't have. But Yebin can't help it.





	1. sweet love

It wasn't the elegant curvature of her nose, the soft points of her lips or the way she smiled that Yebin was in love with. Well, it sort of was. But it wasn't all of it, no. It was the loving sighs and the way that she would so subtly try to make sure Yebin was ok, it was her laugh and the warmth in Yebin's stomach when Minkyung let her rest her head on her lap. In retrospect, it was the entirety of Kim Minkyung Yebin loved. Not one puzzle piece, but the whole picture.  
"Everything alright?"  
Yebin's eyes jolt open.  
"Oh, um, yeah yeah. I just... this work is just confusing is all."  
"You were lost in your thoughts again, weren't you. It's cute when you do that. But I don't want you to fail this test."  
Yebin buries her face in the sleeves of her sweater to hide the fact that her cheeks are reddening.  
"Cute?"  
"Mhm." Minkyung reaches over a hand and ruffles Yebin's hair. "Hey, I have a question."  
"Yeah?"  
"What do you think about Joshua?"  
"Joshua Hong?"  
Joshua Hong was a skinny kid who played guitar out on the campus grounds and was president of CSU (Christian Students Union). All the girls loved him because he had earrings and he was irrefutably a Nice Guy, the kind they swooned over because he had, you know, emotional depth and sensitivity. Yebin and Eunwoo had a working theory that he was actually gay, but she wasn't about to tell Minkyung that.  
"Not much." Yebin says finally. "Why?"  
"Chungha thinks he likes me."  
Yebin pretends there isn't that small feeling of jealousy rising in her stomach.  
"Likes you?"  
"He keeps snapchatting me. And he DMed me like ten times on Instagram and then today he asked for my number during Social Psychology."  
"Oh." Yebin takes out her phone from her pocket and looks at the screensaver of her and Minkyung standing in front of the Eiffel Tower from their trip to Paris last summer. Minkyung is kissing Yebin's cheek, something she played off as a "BFFS!" thing. Yebin however, isn't going to forget, that a night later, a little too drunk on wine, Minkyung had sloppily kissed her under the dimmed lights of the apartment they were renting. That, at least, gives Yebin hope.  
"Maybe it's time I settle down." Minkyung says. "Go on a date with him or something. My mom keeps calling me asking if I have a boyfriend yet and I bet she'd love him."  
"I snapchat you every day, maybe you should date me." Yebin says, jokingly, but if Minkyung had sensed the tinge of bitterness on the other's tongue, she might have known it was serious.  
Minkyung knocks her head back to rest on Yebin's shoulder.  
"You're so silly." She says with a laugh, and Yebin bites her lip.

"Looks like Operation Gay is about to fail." Eunwoo says, shoving her hand into the giant tub of CheeseBallz she had spent her day's wages on (Instead of you know, more shampoo, which they happened to be out of).  
"It is not." Yebin mumbles. "Operation Gay is just facing some difficulties."  
"I could seduce Joshua and he could break Minkyung's heart. Then she comes running to you for comfort and tada, she's all yours." Eunwoo says.  
"Seduce him? You're like the most lesbian lesbian I've ever met."  
"I'm a good actress."  
"What about my Operation Gay?" Jieqiong shouts from the other room.  
"That's not an operation. That's just your crush on a girl who sits kinda near you in your biology class who partnered with you one time. Yebin's been crushing on Minkyung since..."  
"Age 11." Yebin mumbles.  
"Yeah." Eunwoo says. "Me, I'm happy being single."  
"Don't you still like that Cathy gir-"  
"Irrelevant." Eunwoo interrupts.  
"You wrote a whole song about her." Jieqiong giggles.  
"You put a photo of Nayoung as your wallpaper when you've talked about once. Isn't she dating Kyungwon anyway?" Eunwoo retorts.  
"Can both of you just.... shut up." Yebin moans. "I'm still dealing emotionally with this Joshua situation." She rolls over onto her side. "I'm going to sleep."

"A." Ms. Kwon says as she hands the test to her. "I'm quite surprised, Yebin."  
"I studied a lot."  
"Good for you."  
Yebin pulls her phone out of her pocket.

yeb: i got an a!!! thank u!!! 

minky : yw! want to get lunch today love

yeb: yes plsss

Yebin flushes a bit. Minkyung called her "love".   
Yebin feels someone prod her shoulder.   
"You and your girlfriend are so cute."   
Yebin turns around to face Siyeon, who's grinning like an asshole.  
"She's not my girlfriend."   
"Oh sure."   
"You're such a dick. Did Jieqiong tell you?"   
"That you're in looooove? Maybe."   
"I'm gonna kick her ass."  
Siyeon pulls a piece of paper from her bag. "I actually have something important. I wrote you guys a new song."   
"Oh sick, thank you. Are you coming to the show next week?"   
"Mmm... Maybe. Depends if you guys stop sucking so much."   
"Start your own fucking band, asshole."

"So congrats on your test!" Minkyung raises her water glass so it clinks against Yebin's. "I'm proud of you."   
"Thanks for putting away time to eat with me I know your busy with your other friends and like... Joshua and stuff." Yebin says.  
Minkyung reaches over the table and lightly pinches Yebin's cheek.  
"I always have time for you! You're my best friend, you know. And stop freaking out about Joshua. I know you want me all to yourself, but you don't have to worry just yet. I haven't even texted him back."   
Yebin gives Minkyung a weak smile.   
"Hey," Minkyung says. "Wonwoo's having a party Friday night. Wanna be my date? You can bring your bandmates and stuff too."  
"Y-your date?"  
"Platonic date." Minkyung says like she's supposed to be reassuring Yebin, but it just makes the her heart sink.  
"Yeah I'll go." Yebin says. "I don't know Wonwoo but... I like parties... I think."   
"Perfect!" Minkyung says. Her phone suddenly buzzes on the table. "Oh, that's Soyee. I should get going." She tuns over to Yebin and pecks her cheek. "See you later!"  
"Yeah..." Yebin says, cheeks warming. She sighs. A date.


	2. stars in ur eyes

"Stop fretting, you look cute."   
Yebin's in front of the mirror, in a dress she's borrowed from Minkyung, and the latter is just behind her, resting her head on Yebin's shoulder.  
"I'm not sure." Yebin complains, adjusting the straps.  
"You look great." Minkyung wraps her arms around Yebin's waist, and she practically chokes—in the reflection of the mirror the two of them almost seem like a couple. "Let's go so we're not late." Minkyung hums. "You're gorgeous."  
Yebin's stomach does somersaults.

Jieqiong picks them up in her minivan. She's the only one of Yebin's friends who drives—and of course it's a minivan. Jieqiong was very proud of her purchase, claiming the band would be "greatly indebted" to her for moving around their things.   
"You two look cute." She says as Minkyung and Yebin crawl into the backseat.  
"Like a real couple." grins Eunwoo.   
Minkyung laughs and Eunwoo delivers a wink to Yebin. Minkyung grasps Yebins hand.   
"Oh, hold me darling, I'm scared!" she snickers, burying her face in Yebin's shoulder, whose face is red like a strawberry at this point.  
"Hey Minky," Eunwoo says, using the precious nickname Yebin had once admitted she thought she would use if her and Minkyung were married, "Do you know if Heehyun will be there?"   
"Cathy? Uh... We've only talked like once or twice. But probably... Everyone's gonna be there." Minkyung says, applying her lipstick in the reflection of her car window.  
"Sick." Eunwoo says confidentially, fiddling a bit with her hair.

Pulling up to a party in a minivan is possibly the least cool thing you can do, but according to Jieqiong, "Wonwoo is an annoying hipster who probably loves this normcore shit."   
The house is all lit up, music blaring out through the windows as the dusk begins to set in. Wonwoo's on the porch swing out front, staring listlessly at a red solo cup in his hand.   
"Cool ride, Kyul." He says as she opens the door and hops out.  
"Thanks!" she says, throwing back a mocking wink to the rest of her passengers. "I'm thinking of spray painting flames on the side of it."  
Eunwoo adjusts her fishnet tights. "Have you seen Heehyun around?"  
"Who?" Wonwoo says. "There's like fifty people in my house I don't know right now."   
"You're no help." Eunwoo says, running up the porch steps and through the front door.   
Minkyung and Yebin follow her. It's loud, the house is full of people everywhere. Mijoo is in the corner headbanging to Tik Tok by Kesha, and she spots a blonde bob on top of a tall girl with long arms—Kyungwon and Nayoung making out. Jieqiong won't be too pleased about that one.  
"It's barely even seven." Yebin grumbles. "Why are people already going at it?"   
"Let's get drinks." Minkyung tugs on Yebin's arms. "I think they're upstairs."   
"If we get drinks this early, you're gonna end up with a tattoo by the end of the night."   
"I already have a tattoo. You just haven't seen it yet." Minkyung says, and Yebin practically falls down the stairs from surprise.  
"What?"  
"Maybe I'll show you tonight. It isn't that old."  
"You didn't tell your best friend you got a tattoo?"  
"You would've freaked out. You're so protective." They walk into another room, filled with spilled bags of potato chips, punch bowls, and beers in a cooler. Or, Yebin can only assume, because a certain someone is sitting on the cooler.  
Joshua.  
"Oh hey!" Minkyung says, and oh my god, she's giving Joshua the smile. The smile that normally just Yebin gets when she makes Minkyung laugh or she gives Minkyung a good massage or finds the perfect shirt for Minkyung at the store. He's not deserving of that smile, Yebin thinks.   
"Hey Minkyung." he says. He has his guitar with him. What a pretentious douche bag. Well, Yebin doesn't really know that, they've never talked. But it makes her feel a bit better about hating him to imagine he is.  
"You must be Yebin." He says. "I always see you on Minkyung's Instagram story."   
"Yup..." Yebin says slowly. "Can we get a beer from that cooler?"  
"Oh, oh yeah." He shifts his seat. "Go ahead."  
"Hey so Minkyung-" Joshua starts But at that moment Eunwoo strides by the room, her eyes widening at the sight of Joshua. She dashes in, cutting right in front of Minkyung and awkwardly leaning against a table.  
"Hey there handsome fella." Eunwoo says. Jesus christ, she was definitely wrong about being able to act straight. At least shes trying.   
As Joshua attempts to process what is happening, Yebin swoops down to grab two beers from the cooler and pulls Minkyung out of the room.   
"Hey I was talking to h-"  
"He'll be here when we come back. Why don't we find Chungha, or something."  
"You barely know Chungha."  
"Well better now than never." 

The two of them are lying on a bed—Wonwoo's probably.   
"How many people do you think have had sex on this bed?"  
"How much have you had to drink?"  
"A lot." Minkyung giggles. "Your face is funny." She clasps Yebin's hand close to her chest. "Wanna see my tattoo?"   
Yebin for sure hasn't had as much as Minkyung—but shes still a lightweight compared to the other and her head feels a little tipsy.   
"Sure." she half-slurs. The music outside is pounding hard and loud, there's someone knocking on the door, but then she can hear them walk away.   
Minkyung sits up on her knees, and Yebin turns on the bed lamp next to them for better light. Minkyung pulls down the straps of her dress, and tugs it down to her waist—her back is facing Yebin—and she sees it.  
It's a bunch of tiny stars, connected by miniature lines. A constellation. Behind the constellation are a bunch of miniature, smaller black stars.   
"19 little stars and 10 bigger ones. Like... October... October 19th. Your birthday." Minkyung flops forward so her face is in the pillow and her voice is mumbling. "It was going to be a surprise... But then you went to New York for your birthday and we weren't really talking and then I realized it's kind of weird for me to get something like this and—"  
"It's so pretty." Yebin says softly.   
Minkyung rolls up. "Really?"  
"Of course. I love it." She smiles faintly, her heart pounding.   
Minkyung adjusts her dress.   
"I'm gonna do something weird." she murmurs. She crawls over, and straddles Yebin, her hands on either side of her head.   
There are barely any thoughts in Yebin's head, she's not even sure if shes just dreaming.   
Then, softly and sweetly, Minkyung leans down and kisses her.


	3. still

Minkyung kisses gently, and with a tinge of passion, warm and lovely, hands on Yebin's face, breaths long and slow. She kisses like there's an angel in her, like she's taking you to the clouds and further, like there's no one but them. Yebin call remember every moment so clearly, so sharply, the interlocking of their lips, how peaceful it was despite the loud music outside. It was perfect.  
Too bad Minkyung can't remember a thing.  
The next morning, after Minkyung comes to their dorm and sleeps on Yebin's bed, Minkyung admits over a bowl of cereal she remembers nothing.  
"Last night was really wild." coughs Yebin.  
"Really?" says Minkyung. "Honestly, I don't remember anything."  
Yebin almost swallows a fruit loop whole.   
"Wait- Anything?"  
"I remember I showed you my tattoo... And I remember driving there, and I remember throwing up in Wonwoo's organic vegetable garden, and he got really mad at me."   
"You don't remember ki-" Eunwoo nearly shouts, but Yebin's hand shoots under the table to pinch her leg before she can finish.  
"Remember what?"   
"Nothing." Eunwoo says before coughing into her arm.

"Ok! One, Two, Three-" Eunwoo starts, adjusting her guitar straps, before suddenly bending over and letting out another cough.   
"You ok?" Jieqiong asks.  
"I think I'll be fine. The show is in three days, gotta pull through." Eunwoo replies, but her voice cracks just slightly, and there's a hint of hoarseness.   
"Bullshit. You're sick." Yebin groans. "We need to learn this song. It's actually good compared to that shit song you wrote that is obviously about Cathy, even though you won't admit it."   
"Well what the fuck are we supposed to do then? I'm the singer."  
"I'll call Sejeong. She's pretty good! She could fill in." sing-songs Jieqiong.  
"She couldn't even come to the show, remember? She's president of gay club or whatever."  
"Lesbian Students Alliance."   
"Yeah yeah. Anyway, she's gonna be at a meeting. She can't."   
"Craigslist?" Yebin asks, putting down her drumsticks.   
"What, no way. I'm not getting some creepy guy to sing my songs."   
"You have a better option? Who else do we know who can even sing."

Jieqiong puts the ad up. 

Band "The Apartment Breakers" looking for a replacement lead vocal for our Friday night show. Must be able to come practice with us and be free Friday night. 50$ pay. 

"Fifty bucks feels a little weak." Yebin says, leaning over Jieqiong's shoulder.   
"You think we're loaded with cash? Geez. That was the money I was gonna use to buy t-shirts with our super rad logo on them."  
"We don't have a super rad logo."  
"Well, I also was planning on using it to pay Chaeyoung to draw us one."  
Eunwoo leans in as well. "Can we make it a pair of titt-"  
"No." Yebin stops her before she can finish. 

It takes twenty-four hours for someone to respond. Yebin anxiously opens the message, filled with worry.

from: sungbaby124  
Hi my names sungyeon im a high school senior my main interests are singing acapella, going to church, and pinterest :)

"Our only reply is a high school senior." Yebin yells across the room.   
"What!" Eunwoo dashes in. "A baby!"   
"We can't audition a highschool senior."  
Jieqiong pokes her head through the doorway.   
"But what if she's cute!"   
"I guess we don't really have any options, if she's the only one."  
"Aww... I remember when I was in high school. I was so depressed." Jieqiong coos.  
"I guess I'll be the one to call her. Funny I'm the one who always does the shit around here despite a certain someone being the supposed leader." Yebin remarks, with a glare at Eunwoo.  
"I'm sick." Eunwoo retorts, plopping down on the couch.  
Yebin rolls her eyes as she walks out of the room. 

The girl is small, and well, squishy. Her smile is bright and she has the softest cheeks—she looks way younger than a senior.   
"You're... Sungyeon?" Yebin says slowly.  
"You're so adorable! Like a little puppy!" Jieqiong exclaims.  
"Don't be rude." Yebin hisses.  
"Yes! I assume you are the... Apartment Breakers?"   
Eunwoo looks at her quizzically. "Aren't you way too young to be a senior?"  
"Oh, I can get my ID for you!"   
"No, no, that's ok."   
"So what do I do?" She's sitting on their dorm room couch, her Hello Kitty backpack next to her with an awkward, flushed smile on her face.  
"Can you sing something for us?"  
"I know some Christian rock songs."   
"Uh..." Yebin looked at Eunwoo with concern. "What about something simpler... just I don't know you said you go to a church? Do you know any hymns or anything? Anything with someh nice vocal range?"   
"Oh, ok!" Sungyeon stands up.   
Yebin wasn't expecting her to sound like an angel. Her voice was powerful, and beautiful. Every note—perfect. Jieqiong's eyes widen, mouth forming into a little "o" shape in surprise. Eunwoo gasps, and grips Yebin's shoulders.   
"She might need a little makeover, but she's the one." she whispers. 

"You're coming to the show, right?" Yebin says nervously. Her and Minkyung are striding down the campus pathway, under the gentle shadows of the trees.   
"Of course! I'm your biggest fan."  
"You're an Apartment Breakers groupie?" giggled Yebin, just slightly.  
"I'll throw my top off for you and everything. Bra on the stage."  
"Shut up." she murmurs.   
"I've heard you've found a temporary vocalist, since Eunwoo came down sick."  
"Yeah." Yebin smiles. "She's cute. I mean she doesn't really fit the whole lesbian-punk-rock thing, but she'll do."   
"I'll bring my friends." Minkyung says. She leans over and slightly ruffles Yebin's hair. Yebin loves their height difference, she cant help but imagine standing on the other girl's toes and kissing her—dear god she's in love. She takes a deep breath. Time to go get ready for the performance.


	4. in the air

Yebin stares at her reflection in the mirror, a little uncomfortably.   
"Why do I feel so nervous?" she says, biting her lip.  
"I think you can pull off black lipstick just fine." Eunwoo replies.  
"That's not what I'm nervous about, dumbass." Yebin groans. "The fucking show. The one in front of all our friends? Our songs suck, our supposed leader can't even sing at the moment, and the fact Taeyeon let us use her bar probably means she's expecting us to do great. Why did I invite so many people?"  
"Hold still." Eunwoo says to Sungyeon, who is currently sitting on the couch, letting Eunwoo attempt dramatic eye makeup on her to make her look more like a "gay badass". "Yebin, just chill out. You're nervous because Minky will be there."  
"Stop calling her that. And am not."  
Eunwoo swiped blue eyeliner above Sungyeon's eyelashes.   
"You always get like this. And it always turns out fine. Remember that one time she flashed you? That was pretty dope."  
"F-flashed?" chokes Sungyeon.  
"Oh, I forgot there's a baby child here."  
Jieqiong, who's sitting on the floor, already dressed, looks up from her phone. "Are your parents coming or something?" she asks the young girl on the couch.  
"No, they're on a trip. My friend Yewon is coming." she says, and her face lights up slightly.   
Jieqiong sits up straight and gasps.   
"Is she as cute as you are?"   
"Um... I have a couple pictures of her on my phone... Actually, a whole folder."  
"Oh no." Eunwoo says, quirking one eyebrow. "Yebin has a whole folder of Minky pics. This can only mean one thing."  
"What do you mean?" Sungyeon says with innocent eyes.   
"You're in love!" Jieqiong exclaims. "Oh my god, this is so cute. We have to make you look extra cute for tonight!"  
"I do not like her!" Sungyeon says, pouting.  
"But do you love her?" Eunwoo retorts.  
"No! I mean as a friend, a really close friend but-"  
"We're gonna set you two up. It's a magical moment."   
"How come you're so enthusiastic about this but you couldn't care less about me and Minkyung?" mumbles Yebin as she applies mascara.   
"You and Minkyung have been looking like a lost hope lately." Jieqiong says.  
"They did kiss." Eunwoo proposes as she begins brushing Sungyeon's hair.  
"You and your crush kissed? Doesn't that mean you both like each other a lot?" Sungyeon asks, obviously perplexed.  
"Being an adult is complicated." Yebin says to Sungyeon's reflection in the mirror. "Alcohol makes you do weird things."  
"Anyway," Jieqiong remarks, leaning over the arm of the couch, "Tell me about this Yewon girl." 

"Ok, you guys are free to go set up now, if you like." Taeyeon gestures to the small stage, twirling her ring of keys around her finger.  
"Thanks so much for letting us use your bar, Tae." Eunwoo says.  
"Anything for my favorite freshman!"   
"I'm a junior now." she pouts. "May I remind you, you graduated two years ago."   
"Ehh... Time means nothing." Taeyeon says, throwing a rag over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go clean up."   
The bar door creaks open, and... Yebin's eyes widen.   
"Minkyung!" she says. "You're... here early."  
"Of course I am! I'm your biggest groupie, remember?"  
Suddenly the door makes another jingling noise, signaling someone else is walking in.   
"Oh... Oh no." Jieqiong whispers.  
It's Joshua.  
"Are you fucking serious." Yebin hisses just under her breath.  
"Sorry Yeb." Minkyung says, walking up to the stage. "I brought a date tonight. Might not be any bras off."   
Joshua gives a nervous laugh.   
"Minky," Yebin stutters, "Why didn't you tell me?"   
"It just sort of happened an hour ago! Turned out we both were going, and he has a car, so he drove me here!"   
"I could've given you a ride in my minivan." Jieqiong inserts as she unpacks her guitar from its case.   
"Not the time to promote your ugly car, Kyul." Eunwoo says.   
"Well, um," Yebin finds herself lost for words, "Just find a seat or something. We're not starting for another hour."   
She turns to her bandmates. "Eunwoo, Jieqiong, care for a sidebar?"   
"What about me?" Sungyeon asks.  
"Why don't you... Taeyeon, could you make her a Shirley Temple and show her photos of your cat?"  
"Ooh! You have a cat!" Sungyeon says with excitement, scuttling off the stage. Yebin ushers Eunwoo and Jieqiong to the bathroom.   
"What am I supposed to do?" she practically yells as the door is closed.   
Jieqiong gently pats her shoulder. "I think Operation Gay has reached its true end. There's no more hope. I mean, the guy has earrings. You know how hard girls nut over guys with earrings?"   
Yebin sits on the tiled floor.   
"It's over. She'll date him, then they'll probably do it, then they'll get promise rings or some bullshit, and get married, and have like ten kids, and that Corgi that she always wanted, and I'll just be her sad gay best friend forever."   
Eunwoo reaches into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulls out a metal flask.   
"Have some of this."  
"It's 7:30."  
"It's medicine."  
"I am not drinking right before we perform!"   
"Trust me, with the way things are already going, you're gonna need it for tonight."   
"Ok, just a sip. One sip." 

The bar is starting to fill up. A girl comes in, with her hair up in a ponytail and adorable high cheekbones, and when she walks in Sungyeon gasps.   
"Yewon!" she says. Jieqiong is there at lightspeed.   
"So you must be Yewon. I've heard lots about you. Say, you dating anyone right now? Do you like girls? Do-" She's stopped by Sungyeon, who's face is flushed as red as a beet, but also by the site of two more girls entering the bar, particularly a tall one with small lips and long legs.  
"Nayoung!" she whispers. There's another girl on Nayoung's arm, however, a gorgeous girl with a blonde bob. Jieqiong bites her lip in anger, and Eunwoo practically has to pull her away.   
Yebin sits at the bar having her second alcoholic drink of the night—despite the fact they haven't even started performing yet. Her lips are pursed around the straw bitterly, and her eyes are headed in the direction of Minkyung and Joshua, who are casually chatting it up at a small table. Joshua takes a fry from the basket he and Minkyung ordered together—and feeds it to her. She nibbles it with a little giggle, and does that thing where she rests her cheeks in her hands when she's embarrassed. Unfair. Yebin's made Minkyung do that so many times, but she's not the one dating Minkyung, is she? She won't be bitter. No, not tonight. Tonight's her night, right?  
Taeyeon leans over the bar.  
"Fallen for a straight girl, huh?"   
"None of your business."   
"I remember when I liked this straight girl—Tiffany. It's painful, isn't it?"   
"Does that mean I'm gonna end up lonely and single like you?"   
"Hey! I have a girlfriend! Or... had. I had a girlfriend. One girlfriend."  
Yebin snickers.   
"I gotta go. I'll be on in a couple of minutes."   
"Good luck!" Taeyeon says, with a faint and fond smile. "Rooting for you. In general." 

It doesn't really matter how bad their songs are, or how many people came to see them, once Yebin gets onstage. Sungyeon's voice sounds gorgeous, crooning Eunwoo's shitty lyrics, and since Eunwoo isn't singing, her guitar playing sounds even better than usual. Jieqiong has that smile that only truly shows when she's performing, although it might be nice if she stopped attempting makig sexy lip bites in Nayoung's general direction. Some of Minkyung's friends have come—Soyee, Chungha, Nayeon, and they're hooting and hollering from the audience when Yebin does her drum solo. It's a nice feeling, especially since Yebin and Minkyung's friend groups rarely intersect. When they perform Siyeon's song, Siyeon sits in the back looking mildly smug, but also slightly approving. Yebin's glad she came.   
At some point, Yebin's eyes cross to meet Minkyung's. Minkyung is smiling, the smile Yebin loves so, so, dearly, and their eye contact seems to soften the moment, like back when they kissed, like it's just them in the room again.   
But then, Yebin sees Minkyung and Joshua's hands are intersecting. He's stroking the side of her palm with his thumb. He gives Yebin an eager smile and a thumbs up—God, he's way too nice. Yebin feels a bit like throwing up, especially when Minkyung leans her head on Joshua's shoulder. The feeling of bile in her throat doesn't escape for the rest of the night.

"Another one." Yebin groans to Taeyeon across the bar. "Give me another beer."   
"You've already had way too much tonight, sweetheart." Taeyeon says as she wipes glasses clean. "I appreciate the business you're giving me, but I'm not letting you drink your sorrows away."   
The bar is still full of people—despite the show ending. The afterparty appears to be going pretty strong. Eunwoo is playing her "super bumpin'" playlist over the loudspeakers, and Jieqiong is getting uncomfortably close to Nayoung.   
And of course, Joshua and Minkyung are in a corner, chatting it up and laughing. Yebin stares down at the red rose in her hand, a gift from Minkyung after the show.   
"You were amazing!" she had said, kissing Yebin's cheeks, a burst of affection of which Yebin could never tire. But she had gone back to Joshua's side, and Yebin had gone back to the bar to find something to console her—in liquid form.   
Now, she looks at Minkyung, laughing, tucking hair behind her ear, and she looks at Joshua, whose arm is by Minkyung's face, hand on the wall.   
It's about time she did something.   
She whirls off the barstool, and over to the couple.   
"Joshua," she says, "I need to talk to you about something." She grips his wrist and tugs him towards the back hall, by the backgrounds. She can hear Minkyung yelling something, but it's hard to hear over the pounding of the music.   
"You," Yebin slurs, "We need to talk."  
Joshua gives her a warm smile.  
"Well actually, I had something to ask you, too!"   
Yebin leans back against the wall of the hallway.   
"Wait, what?"   
"I wanted to ask you permission! To take Minkyung on a second date. Since you're her best friend. Tonight has been so lovely. You're very talented at the drums, you know."  
Yebin pauses.   
"Fuck you."  
"Excuse me?"   
"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you and your pretty ass smile, and your earrings, and your nice haircut, and your guitar. Fuck you!"  
"Yebin, do you need a ride home? You seem like you've had a lot to drink. I just want you to be safe."  
Goddamn, he's so fucking considerate.   
"No!" Yebin's almost shouting, and thank god they're far down the hallway, because it could be easy for someone to hear them if they weren't. "No! No. No, you can't love her because I love her!" Her words start falling out between faint cries. "I'm the one who's always loved her, and always cared about her."  
"You're in love with Mink-"  
And that's when Yebin punches Joshua square in the face.


	5. lonely

When Yebin's hand comes reeling back from the hit, she realizes she might've made a huge mistake.   
This feeling is quite amplified when Minkyung comes running down the back hallway, and sees Joshua crouching on the floor, holding his nose, and Yebin with a look of panic on her face.   
"Josh? Joshua! Are you ok?"  
"I-I'm sorry." stutters Yebin.   
"Wait. Did you do this?" Minkyung looks at Yebin and the guilt starts to rise like a black ocean inside her stomach. There's no warmth in Minkyung's eyes, just fear.   
"She's really.... really drunk she should go home." Joshua says, voice muffled behind his hands.   
"You fucking punched my date?"   
"He..." Yebin can't seem to find any excuses, her head is woozy and nothing feels real at all.  
"She should just get home, she's probably in a really bad place. She needs help." Joshua says.   
Jesus. Can he not be so disgustingly nice for once?   
Yebin's brain hurts, and she thinks she's crying.   
"I'm sorry." she says again.   
Minkyung, who's helping Joshua up into her arms, glares at her.   
"Don't talk to me."

Yebin wakes up in her bed with a pounding headache. She's back in her dorm room, still wearing her denim jacket and her leather pants.   
"Well, rise and shine." Eunwoo's voice says. Yebin looks up, eyes still blurry from their post-sleep haze, to see her on the couch, stirring coffee with a spoon. Headache still pounding, she inhales and winces at the morning light twisting through the window.   
"Did I dream punching Joshua in the face? Please tell me I did."  
Eunwoo looks at her sadly.   
"I sure wish you did. Wouldn't that be a great feeling? Knowing you dreamt it all? But, um, no. You hit him good."   
"Hey, don't be mean! You know she's in a rough place." Jieqiong yells from the kitchen.  
"How... did we get home last night?"  
"Well, Jieqiong was way too wasted to drive-"  
"Super wasted!" Jieqiong shouts.   
"And I can't drive, so Sungyeon drove us home."  
"Sungyeon? How'd she get home?"   
"I didn't!" says a small voice from inside the kitchen.  
"She stayed with us." Eunwoo nods. "Jieqiong's taking her home in like fifteen minutes."  
"What about..."  
"Minky?"   
Yebin sighs, and shakes off her jacket.   
"Yeah."   
"She took Joshua to the campus clinic. She was pretty pissed off."  
"Fuck!" Yebin exclaims, rolling over so her face is in her pillow. "This is the biggest disaster of my life."  
"I might have to agree with you on that one." Eunwoo says, taking a sip of her coffee.  
Yebin reaches down and grabs her phone, opening it to see if there were any notifications. Nothing. She slides  
open her texts but there's nothing new—the last thing Minkyung texted her was a message saying "omw! ^_____^".   
She swallows, and quickly types something out.

yeb: hey  
yeb: im so sorry about last night  
yeb: can we talk??  
yeb: call me

She stuffs the phone back into her pocket. "Eunwoo, can you get me some coffee? I really need some caffeine right about now."  
"Anything for my next Olympic boxing champion."  
"You're not funny, you know that, right?"  
"You love me." Eunwoo slyly retorts.

 

Minkyung hasn't texted her back. It's been a whole day, and Yebin can't stop worrying, curling up in a ball and rocking back and forth on her bed.   
"I don't know what to do! How do I fix this. I made a dumbass drunk mistake, and now everything is over!"  
"It'll be ok." Jieqiong says sweetly. "Here. Put your head here and I'll braid your hair." She pats on her lap.  
"Why?"   
"It's calming, trust me. I do it to Eunwoo when she gets stressed."   
Yebin rests her head on Jieqiong's folded knees, letting out a restless sigh. She starts thumbing through Yebin's hair, scratching her head a little.  
"Woah. This is pretty nice."   
"I know, right? I'm such a girlfriend material."   
"You do know that Nayoung and Kyungwon are living together, right?"  
Jieqiong puffs out a small sigh.  
"Yeah. They seem really happy together."  
"You have to move on."   
"Ha!" she laughs as she separates a chunk of Yebin's hair. "Funny coming from you. Maybe you should take your own advice."  
"I'm just saying..." Yebin stares up at the ceiling, at the little glow in the dark stars that Minkyung had put in her Christmas stocking that are stuck up there. "All I'm saying is, you have to get over her early. Or you'll just dig yourself deeper, like I did, and then you can't escape. You're stuck forever."  
Jieqiong pouts.   
"But who is as perfect as Nayoung?"   
"I don't know, maybe Eunwoo?"  
Jieqiong's face suddenly lights up red.   
"Hey! We don't talk about that!"   
"You mean the fact you had a major crush on Eunwoo, all freshman and sophomore year? That you literally proposed we start the band so you could have an excuse to talk to her more often? Hm."  
"That is a secret. Be quiet!"   
"She's out grocery shopping right now. May I remind you we are the only ones in the house?"  
"I don't still like her. I like Nayoung now."   
"Interesting that you suddenly decided you had a crush on Nayoung after Eunwoo decided she was head over heels for Cathy."  
"I'm going to rip your hair out if you don't stop being such a smart aleck."  
"I think that means I'm right." Yebin snickers.   
"This is supposed to be for your impossible romantic dreams, not mine. I listen to Eunwoo ramble about Cathy all day long, let's talk about you." Jieqiong says as she begins to twist the others hair.  
"I don't really feel like thinking about how much my best friend hates me."   
"Have you guys fought before?"   
Yebin's mind wanders back, back in time to sixth grade, when her and Minkyung had argued because Yebin had stole her cherry lipgloss—and to sophomore year, when Minkyung had dated that dick Jaebum, and Yebin had kicked him in the crotch—resulting in another angry fight where they didn't talk for a couple days. They'd had their disputes, sure, all friends do, but there was always a reconciliation. It always ended, and they'd go back to the smiles and hand holding and everything that's somewhat normal. The incidents would be forgotten. But Yebin was afraid because this time felt so utterly different and scary. She wasn't ready to face the idea of losing Minkyung.

She and Minkyung had met, when they were young enough to not be able to read but old enough to know their own names, and they were attached—the kind of friends that never let go. Minkyung was Yebin's princess and Yebin her protector, a kind of balance they had found came just naturally.   
When Yebin hit eleven, she found that Minkyung now started to catch her breath and make her cheeks red—she liked her, like-liked her. Minkyung was Yebin's date to the seventh grade dance when no one asked her, and Yebin lied about her address so she could go to the same high school as Minkyung.   
They skipped class to sit under the stairway and play card games and talk, planning away a future in which they'd always be friends. They each had their own groups and crowds. Minkyung was an overachiever, a bit preppy, ran for student council, had solos in the school choir, and Yebin was the loser who smoked weed in the back lot of the school and wrote "TRASHBAG" on the back of her denim jacket just to be edgy. But, they fit together. They applied to the same college, got in together, found their own friends, but they never separated. How can you ever separate from someone you care for so dearly? Well, Yebin hoped. That's what half her relationship with Minkyung was anyway—faint hope.

Out of nowhere, Yebin's phone buzzes, bringing a sharp snap back to reality. She quickly yanks it out of her pocket.  
It's Minkyung.

minky: come meet me by the cherry tree? we should talk

Yebin sits up straight.   
"I have to go." she says. She swallows nervously, not ready for what's to come.


	6. don't forget

Cherry blossoms have always been Minkyung's favorite flower—there isn't really an explanation she has for it. When it's springtime, she has the biggest smile on her face. Yebin can remember so clearly the cherry tree in Minkyung's backyard, where they'd sit on one of the gnarly branches, trading secrets and eating slightly melted strawberry popsicles.   
There's a huge cherry tree on campus, and it's where, in freshman year, Minkyung and Yebin used to eat lunch together every day, until finally they were entangled into separate friendships. However, it still shines as a meeting place for the two of them—for picnics where Minkyung would practice her guitar as petals got caught in her hair, and study sessions on particularly sunny days. On Minkyung's birthday, Yebin had climbed to the top, just to snap off a branch of blossoms to tie onto the girl's present.   
Now, walking in the direction of the tree, all lit up with it's cotton candy spring colors, Yebin realizes she's never felt so nervous around the tree, never walked toward it with such anxiety. She sees Minkyung, sitting right under it, hair in soft wisps around her face as the breeze blows.   
It's odd—all Yebin's life, Minkyung has been the person she trusts the most, but right now, she feels like a stranger to her.   
"Hey." Yebin says quietly.  
"Hi." Minkyung says. She isn't smiling.  
"I'm sorr-"  
"Don't. Let me talk."  
Yebin sits next to Minkyung, pretending there isn't a constant anxiety digging a perpetual hole into her stomach.   
"You shouldn't have punched him."   
"I know. I'm sorry."  
"You can't control my life forever. And Josh is a nice guy—I get when you kicked Jaebum, he was an asshole, but Josh didn't do anything."  
"I-i don't know why I did it."  
"You know, one day we're not going to be each other's first priority anymore."   
Yebin pretends that isn't a punch in the stomach.   
"I know."  
"You can't protect me forever. I can make my own decisions, Yebin. One day we'll both be married, and have things to love that aren't eachother."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Stop saying that, dumbass. I know you're sorry." Minkyung takes Yebin's hands. "I'm going to go on a second date with Josh."  
Yebin looks at Minkyung, at the faint sparkle of her eyes, and feels herself melt.   
"So we're still friends?"  
"Of course! It's not like I haven't made dumb mistakes and you haven't forgiven me."  
That's when Minkyung leans forward, and their lips are closing closer together—but she just reaches up and wipes away a few of Yebin's tears and presses a gentle kiss on her cheek.   
"I love you, you know that, ok."  
"I'm in lo-" Yebin starts, but she stops herself. It's not worth it, no matter how perfect the moment, to admit anything at all to Minkyung. After all, she's happy with Joshua, right? And that's what's always come first. Minkyung's happiness.   
"What?" Minkyung says.  
"Nothing." Yebin replies. "I love you too." 

When Eunwoo gets home from work, she finds Yebin cleaning out her entire closet.   
"Yebin... Everything ok?"  
"I'm great." Yebin replies, almost angrily. "I'm fan-fucking-tastic."   
"That does not sound good." Eunwoo says, setting down her bags.   
"I made up with Minkyung."  
"What! That's great!"   
"She's going on another date with Joshua."   
"That is... not as great."  
"And I," Yebin says, throwing a sweater onto the floor, "Am going to move on."  
"Hold up." Eunwoo crosses her arms. "You? Moving on?"   
"Yup. I'm going to the bar tonight, I'll bang someone, and get over Minkyung."  
"I don't believe it's that simple, sweetheart."   
The apartment door pushes open and in walks Jieqiong, Sungyeon, and a girl Yebin's never seen before.  
"What is going on?" Jieqiong asks.   
"Same question to you. Who is that?" Eunwoo asks.   
"I'm Kyla." The girl says. "I'm Sungyeon's friend."  
"She wrote another song for us." says Jieqiong, untying her Converse.  
(Sungyeon had somewhat become a permanent fixture of the band after the punching incident—things like that tend to bond people together.)  
"Oh, cool." Eunwoo says. "Yebin's going to get over Minkyung, apparently."  
"I am!" Yebin replies, slightly annoyed. "I'm going to the bar, and I'm finding a hot girl." She stands in front of the mirror, cupping her breasts with her hands and attempting to squish them together.  
"Not going to make them any bigger." laughs Eunwoo.

The bar is loud, and full of annoying douchebag guys who keep trying to buy Yebin a drink. She half wishes she hadn't picked the bar her traumatic punching incident had been in, but it's nice to have Taeyeon there to talk to.  
"What brings you here this night?" she asks, pouring a drink for Yebin.  
"Searching for love."  
"Gave up on the straight girl?"  
"Yeah."  
"I hate to let you down, but just because I'm gay, doesn't mean that the people who frequent my bar are. I don't think there's anyone gay but you and me here tonight."  
Yebin groans into her glass.   
"How the fuck do you get over someone you've liked for more than ten years?"  
Taeyeon pauses.  
"I can set you up."  
"Really?"  
"I have this single friend... Seulgi. She seems like she'd be your type. She's a dance student."  
Yebin isn't sure she has a type—her type is Minkyung, but she'll take anything at this point.  
"Sure." she says. "I'll do it."

Yebin's not really sure when the last time she went on a date was—she'll admit, she used to pretend trips to the movies with Minkyung were dates, but only liking one person for so long really limited her dating pool. Now, she's sitting nervously in a coffee shop, foot tapping on the ground—a habit that had resurged with newfound anxieties.   
The coffee shop door swings open, and in walks a girl with a cozy sweater and a crop top showing off her abs. There's no denying she's gorgeous, and Yebin catches her heart thumping a little, but she isn't really sure if it's attraction or adrenaline from an experience that's so inherently different from what she's used too.  
"Are you Yebin?" the girl asks. Her smile is like sunshine, and when she sticks out her hand, her handshake is firm and decisive.   
"Yeah." Yebin swallows. "And you're Seulgi?"  
Seulgi sits across from her. "It's nice to meet you." she remarks.  
"You too."  
"I like your jacket."  
Yebin glances down at her jacket—a satin blue bomber Minkyung had bought her for her birthday. "Thank you." she says back. Why does she feel so nervous?  
"You're nervous." Seulgi remarks.  
"Yeah, a little bit." Yebin replies. "I just- I just haven't been on a date in ages you know?"  
"I'm guessing never." the girl across the table remarks, eyebrows raised.  
"Oh god, how much did Taeyeon tell you?"  
Seulgi giggles. It's refreshing, it doesn't sound like Minkyung's soft laugh, but Yebin chases that thought to the back of her mind.   
"Almost everything. I know Minkyung, you know, she's in my French class."  
Yebin lets out a groan. This was supposed to be a fresh start.  
"Hey, I know it's hard to get over people. I'm also willing to be your friend, if you want. But you are pretty cute." Seulgi says as she grabs her coffee from the waiter.   
"No, no." Yebin says, her nerves settled a bit. "I need to try this for a bit."  
Seulgi replies with a warm smile. Yebin could get used to this, maybe.

With Seulgi, things are strange. Yebin can't stop second guessing herself—but it's mostly because she's afraid nothing can live up to Yebin. Meanwhile, Seulgi is patient, slow, polite.   
"You ok?" She'll ask when they're holding hands at the amusement park, or getting ice cream together. It's odd—they're doing everything Minkyung and Yebin used to constantly do together, yet it feels  
not quite as romantic.   
Minkyung and Joshua are going steady—taking embarrassing couple selfies together, going on dates bowling and out to lunch together, being happy and consistent.   
One day, Seulgi and Yebin go to the park. It's a beautiful day—flowers popping up with the hints of spring and sun casting soft shadows—and the couple walks around holding hands.   
Then Yebin sees them.  
Minkyung and Joshua, sitting on a park bench. They're eating ice cream, and chatting, posibly about something nonchalant, perhaps the weather or the passing clouds, and Minkyung is smiling.   
"Oh." Seulgi says. "Want to go say hi?"  
"I mean... wouldn't that be weird?" Yebin says in return.   
"It's fine by me. She's your best friend right?"   
"I suppose so."   
Yebin walks over, still holding Seulgi's hand. Something about being attached to a person that isn't Minkyung for once gives her a bit of confidence.  
"Yebin?" Minkyung says, looking up. "Hey!"   
Joshua gives her an uncomfortable nod. Yebin and Joshua haven't really talked at all since the punching incident, besides a small private apology. There's something of a secret, unspoken agreement to never discuss that night again—especially what Yebin had said about being in love with his girlfriend.   
"Who is this?" Minkyung asks, gesturing towards the girl holding Yebin's hand.  
"This is Seulgi, my..." Yebin's voice trails off.   
"Girlfriend." Seulgi finishes.   
Minkyung's eyes widen. "Oh." she says. There's something cold in her voice.   
Yebin isn't quite sure what to say, so she doesn't say anything at all.  
"Hey, babe, we should be going." Seulgi says. "Nice meeting you!" she says to Minkyung." She tugs on Yebin's hand, pulling her down a separate park path into a a dark grove of trees. Seulgi gestures to a bench. "Sit." she says.  
"What's going on?" Yebin asks, sitting on the bench after wiping away a few leaves.  
"You still love her."   
"I-"  
"I'm not mad. I could just tell it in your eyes. You're not over her at all."  
"What do you mean you're not mad?"  
Seulgi sits next to her.   
"Babe, it's easy to tell how much you still care for her. I probably should've not tried to keep this thing," she makes a vague hand gesture, "going, but you were too cute and sad and you obviously needed a break from her. But you aren't over her, and I don't think you'll be over her anytime soon."   
Yebin looks at her hands. "I'm sorry, I just- I thought maybe if I distracted myself for long enough everything could fall where I wanted it too and she could just disappear from my brain." She looks up at Seulgi. "Is this like... a breakup?"   
"Actually," Seulgi says, cracking a sly smile, "I have an idea. I want to help you."


	7. lost time

"No." Wonwoo sits, arms folded, shaking his head. "I am not holding another party ever again. Everybody trashed my house." 

"It's just an afterparty!" pleads Eunwoo. "Do it for old times?" 

"What old times? You mean that time you used me as a beard before you came out? Nah."

"It was so fun, pretend dating! Right!" 

"That was high school." 

"I'll show every one those photos of you during your scene phase."

"Woah! Woah. Ok, ok fine. Why do you even need another party anyway?"

"Because we have a show! And we wanted to do an afterparty!"

Wonwoo shakes his head. "Nah, you always have some sort of ulterior motive." 

"Ok, fine." Eunwoo pouts. "We're trying to set Minkyung and Yebin up."

"And you need my entire house for that why?" 

"We have to separate Joshua and Minkyung. It worked at the last party." 

"I feel like there's a way simpler solution to this." 

"It's our big show! We're debuting a bunch of new songs! An afterparty is important, the Minkyung and Yebin thing... is just a bonus. May I remind you, I still have those photos."

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, but he doesn't object. 

 

"Alright, one more time." Siyeon says. "I really need you guys to get this right."

"You make it sound like you have no faith in us." Eunwoo says. 

"It's because I don't." replies Siyeon simply. She's sitting on a stool in the garage—she had specially requested to sit in on band practice before the big show as their "resident in-house producer" and make sure they had it down perfect. "I'm loving Sungyeon's voice. It's perfect for this song." 

Sungyeon smiles eagerly. "Thank you!"

"Doing back up vocals is kind of nice. Gives me more time to focus on my guitar." Eunwoo adds, looking fondly at the guitar in her hands. (No one would know really—but in high school, Eunwoo was a highly trained classical guitarist) "I guess this just means I've got to do my best onstage. I invited Heehyun to come."

"You did?" Jieqiong says, voice almost cracking. 

Yebin gives her a pitied look—it's hard not to feel bad for Jieqiong sometimes. 

"Yewon's coming!" Sungyeon says excitedly. 

"Aww, you two are so cute." Jieqiong remarks, reaching an arm out and pinching one of Sungyeon's cheeks.

"Alright," Yebin says, picking back up her drumsticks, "One more practice of the song. Then I have to go to the library."

 

Yebin loves the library—mostly because it's where Minkyung would take her for weekly study sessions. They would sit in a corner table, surrounded by stacks of old books, sharing a pair of earphones, and scratching away notes. They haven't had a study session in over a month, one person's always busy, but Yebin's starting to think that the real reason is ever since the encounter at the park, things have felt off. 

Today, Yebin's here for materials for a long-winded research project, and she has to travel to the higher floors of the library, the supposed "cursed floors" that Minkyung would always joke were haunted. 

"No one ever goes up there." Minkyung would say. "The books are as old as shit, and the one time I was up there, a bookcase almost fell on me, I swear."

Yebin remembers a cheesy story Eunwoo told about people going up there to fuck—which those listening had quickly dismissed. 

Now, traveling up the cold stairway, and down the lengthy rows of bookcases, Yebin has to admit, this place has its own ghostly charm. She coughs a bit because of dust, and as she turns a corner, she swears she hears noises. 

"Shh! I don't want to get caught!" a horse voice whispers.

"It's fine." another replies. "No on ever comes up here, trust me. This is practically the safest place in the school." There's a quiet shuffling, just a few rows of shelves down. Yebin finds her curiosity is officially piqued, and as quietly as she can, she walks down another row of shelves, then another, until she's closer to the source of noise.

There's a bit of gasping, and slight giggling. There's definitely people right there. Casually as possible, Yebin pulls a book off the shelf so that she can quickly peek through. 

Oh my god. 

Yebin wasn't quite expecting to see what met her eyes.

Jeonghan, the library assistant—one of those guys that's so good looking he gets stopped in grocery stores by old ladies to get told he's a "handsome young boy"—is currently holding another boy by the collar, pressing him against a row of bookshelves. They turn just slightly, and Yebin catches a glimpse of the other boy's face, and more importantly, his shiny, cross shaped earring. 

Joshua. Fucking. Hong.

Yebin has a faint memory of Eunwoo and her sitting looking at Joshua's Instagram on her phone, laughing. "Any guy who wears earrings that often can't be straight." Eunwoo had said.

Guess she was right.

Joshua keeps smiling as he presses his lips to Jeonghan's, and Yebin realizes she's probably never seen him so happy. But he's still cheating—what would Minkyung think? Yebin isn't sure, and she isn't really sure how she's going to get the final book she needs for her research, because she's pretty sure Joshua's ass is currently pressed against it. She can probably put it on hold. Reconsidering her entire life, Yebin slowly walks away. 

 

"Do we look convincing as fake girlfriends?" Seulgi says, striking a pose next to Yebin. 

"Pretty good." Eunwoo says. 

"Are you sure this will work?" Yebin murmurs.

"Jealousy is a powerful thing." Seulgi says. "Trust me, honey, I've been in a lot more relationships than you."

"Geez, how did you manage to find such a hot older girl who's also wise and smart, Yebin?" Jieqiong says, brushing back her hair. 

"Thank Taeyeon." Yebin says, nervously popping her collar. 

Eunwoo slings her guitar over her shoulder, and looks back. 

"Ready to go?" 

Yebin is honestly not sure where tonight will take her, but she supposes she's ready. She takes a deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "beard" is a term used as a relationship used to cover someones sexuality if anyone was wondering


	8. confession

The bar is packed. 

"This is a lot more people than our last show." Yebin whispers, peeking out from backstage. 

"Maybe more people want to see you punch Joshua." Eunwoo says with a snicker. 

"You're so rude." 

Taeyeon walked in, placing a couple of waterbottles on the table. "You guys are on in five. Looks like everything is all set up." 

Minkyung's here again—and she's brought Joshua. How the guy has the confidence to return to the same place he got decked a month ago—Yebin isn't sure. Seulgi's sitting in the front row with her friends, who are all super hot and intimidating. Yebin is pretty sure her hands were clammy as hell when they met, and she can't stop overthinking it. She also can see Wonwoo, who had only been to one of their shows, sitting in the back, on his phone. 

Taeyeon walks onstage, and adjusts the mic to match her height. 

"Welcome everyone! I'm so glad to have you all tonight. Our live performance tonight is from a local favorite, The Apartment Breakers!" She gestures back towards the band, and Eunwoo pushes open the curtain, walking out with her guitar over her shoulder. Sungyeon follows her, resulting in a scream from Yewon in the audience.

As Yebin sits down at the drumset, Eunwoo yells.

"We are the Apartment Breakers! 1, 2, 3, 4!"

 

Yebin loves being onstage. She remembers back when she was a band kid—performing at halftime during football games. She's always loved it, the cheer of the crowd, the heat in her stomach, the thrill and sparks on the ends of her nerves. 

But the best part has always been Minkyung—Minkyung, who came to all the football games just to see her, Minkyung who was at the first Apartment Breakers show, Minkyung who was at all of Yebin's piano recitals and orchestra performances. She was her permanent audience. 

Tonight feels special, somehow, more real and on edge. It's about the sixth song of the night, when Yebin's hands are gripped so tight her knuckles have gone white, and after Eunwoo has a somewhat successful attempt at crowd surfing, that something special happens. 

Eunwoo has gotten a little too hyped, head trashing and everything. There's possibly no one who can love performing as much as her—perhaps that's why she dropped the classical guitar stint.

During their punk-rock cover of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl", (arranged by Siyeon, who's watching proudly), Eunwoo runs over to Jieqiong just as Sungyeon hits her high note, grabs her face with both her hands, and kisses her.

The entire crowd starts screaming, and Yebin almost drops her drumsticks in surprise. As Eunwoo pulls away, Jieqiong struggles to keep up with the notes on her guitar, still in shock. Lipstick smudged, and cheeks slightly red, Eunwoo keeps on singing like nothing's happened. 

Yebin can spot the face of Jeonghan in the audience, sitting next to Wonwoo. She swallows. She still hasn't told anyone what she saw—she's bitter against Joshua sure, but she's not going to be a bitch and out him. She knows the fear of hiding her own sexuality. 

 

When the show ends, Eunwoo runs up and yells "Afterparty at Wonwoo's house!", resulting in a glare from the man himself, as he had told her to keep it "on the down low". 

When Yebin steps off the stage, Seulgi grabs her in a hug. 

"Babe, you did so great!" she says, and grabs Yebin's face with both her hands, and pulls her in for a kiss. Kissing Seulgi feels strange and foreign—not like she's a bad kisser, but she isn't Minkyung. 

It's all fake, Yebin silently reminds herself. She looks over at Minkyung, who's looking on with a dark stare and chilling eyes. 

Eunwoo tugs on Yebin's arm. "Hey, we should go."

"You coming to the party?" Yebin says in Minkyung's direction.

"Of course." she replies quietly.

 

It's loud, everywhere in the house, and Jieqiong needs quiet. She wanders upstairs, red cup in her hand, and down the hallway, into a bedroom. Having gone over to Wonwoo's to smoke with Eunwoo once, she knows where to go. Standing on the bed, she reaches up to the ceiling and pulls loose a hidden trap door, the one that leads to the attic. A ladder flops down, and finishing her drink, she climbs up to the top. Coughing a little, she folds up the ladder and closes the door. 

"Hey." a voice says. "Didn't know you would be here."

Jieqiong turns around. Eunwoo is sitting by the singular window, face lit in silver streams of moonlight. 

"We came here together that one time." she softly says. 

"I remember. You tried to climb that tree outside his house and you fell."

"Yeah." Jieqiong laughs. She scoots next to Eunwoo. 

There's a silence for about a minute. 

"Why did you kiss me?" Jieqiong finally says, not looking Eunwoo in the eye. 

"I'm not... I don't know. Heat of the moment, I guess."

"Oh."

"I liked doing it though. I like kissing you."

Jieqiong hands cover her face. 

"You're embarrassing me."

Eunwoo gives her signature smirk. She looks so gorgeous in the moonlight, bleached blonde hair almost glimmering a silver tone. 

Jieqiong looks at her. 

"You can do it again if you like." 

"Do what?" 

"Kiss me."

Eunwoo's hand cups Jieqiong's chin, arms pull her close. Their lips slowly touch, it's no longer a flurry like onstage, it's slow and fluttering, and Jieqiong's stomach is turning. 

They pull away. 

Jieqiong looks into Eunwoo's eyes this time. 

"I'm kind of in love with you." she says.

 

Yebin hasn't had anything to drink tonight. She's not sure why—she's just not feeling it. She sees Joshua and Jeonghan wandering down a hallway together—and Minkyung wandering in another direction, carrying her beer, carrying on casual conversation with people—something she's always been good at. Yebin sits on the couch, next to Seulgi and Wonwoo.

"Do you know where Jieqiong and Eunwoo are?" 

"Nope." Wonwoo says, leaning back with a deep sigh. There's a sudden shattering sound from the direction of the kitchen, and he sits back up. "Fuck!" he exclaims, getting up and running. "Don't touch my fucking shit!" he yells.

"Hey." Seulgi pats her lap. "Sit."

"There's plenty of room right here." Yebin says. 

"It's a couple thing. Come on." 

Yebin scoots onto Seulgi's thighs, which are surprisingly comfortable. 

Seulgi gently plays with her supposed girlfriend's hair. 

"Have you talked to Minkyung at all?"

"Nope." Yebin sighs. Seulgi wraps her hands around her waist. 

"You'll get there."

"What if there's no possibility for her ever liking me? What if she's just as straight as she puts on?"

"She kissed you, didn't she?" 

"Yeah..." Yebin's mind wanders—it wasn't too long ago that she and Minkyung had wandered up the stairs, giggling like teenagers, to Wonwoo's room, collapsing on the bed before they had, you know. 

Suddenly, there's a hand on her wrist. Yebin looks up. It's Minkyung.

"Hey." she whispers. "Can I talk to you?"

She's obviously much more drunk than she had been when she arrived. 

"Oh, um," Yebin looks back at Seulgi, who simply just shrugs. "Ok, sure."

"Come with me." Minkyung gestures up the stairs, and Yebin stands up and follows, looking back at Seulgi one more time, who gives her a comforting smile.

They're headed to Wonwoo's room again and Minkyung swings the door open and closes it once both of them are in there. 

"I can do it better." she says. 

"What?" Yebin replies, a little confused.

"I can kiss you better."

"Minkyung, are you ok?" 

"I never forgot." Minkyung sits on the bed. "I said I did, but I lied. You were wearing bubblegum lip gloss."

Yebin sits next to her. 

"You mean that night? At the party?" 

"Yeah." 

"I don't know what you're trying to say."

"I'm..." Minkyung bites her lip. "I don't like seeing her with you."

"Seulgi?" 

"I'm never happy with Joshua. I say I am, but I'm not. I can't even kiss him, so how can I kiss you? So easily?"

"Minkyung-"

"You know, when you came out, I was jealous of you. You're so brave." Minkyung flops onto her back, and rolls onto her side, facing away from Yebin. "I wish I was like you. Happy with myself."

Yebin's not sure what to say. 

"Minkyung, you're drunk-"

"I think I'm gay." She sits up, and faces Yebin this time. "And I think I'm in love with you."


	9. with you

Her entire life, Yebin had never thought Minkyung would be the one to confess first. Perhaps in her deepest fantasies she'd imagine it—but most often it was Yebin admitting her true feelings to Minkyung in the imaginary scenarios she'd play out in her head. Perhaps she'd tell Minkyung she loved her on the girl's wedding day and they'd run away together like in a cheesy movie, or perhaps on the day they graduated she'd confess, and Minkyung would kiss her while they were still wearing their caps and gowns. But now, here, right here, Minkyung is there, tears sparkling in her eyes, fingers trembling, words stumbling with alcohol, saying she loves her. It can't be real.

"What are you saying?" Yebin finally replies. 

"I'm going to throw up. Is there a trash can in here?" Minkyung replies, holding onto her stomach.

"You can't pretend you didn't just fucking say that."

The dim aura of the singular lamp next to Wonwoo's bed lights the two of them, just like the night before.

"I real am going to vomit." Minkyung murmurs, eyes flitting around the room. 

"Stop ignoring me."

"I shouldn't have had all that tequila." Minkyung crawls off the bed, towards the window, which she opens with a soft slide. 

Yebin looks at her desperately.

"I'm the one who's in love with you!" she finally blurts out, hands tightened on the covers, breath stuttering in her lungs. 

Minkyung turns. 

"What about your girlfriend?" 

"I wanted to move on, but I couldn't. I can't move on from you, Minky, god damn it! You know that! You've always been the only one." 

There's a silence. 

"I'm sorry." Minkyung blurts out. There's a cool breeze from the open window that ruffles the material of her dress. "I'm sorry. I - I always knew you loved me all this time, but I was so scared of loving you back and I just pretended that it wasn't real, and that I was happy liking boys even though I wasn't, and I don't know, I thought that maybe if I believed in it enough it might come true." 

Yebin's not normally the one to take the lead, she's always let someone else guide her through what she's supposed to do—but tonight, tonight is something else. She stands up, and walks close to Minkyung, so close that their noses almost touch, and stands slightly on her toes so that her lips angle just right with the others. Minkyung's breath smells like alchohol and the Tic-Tacs she obsessively will consume when she's nervous, a habit only Yebin knows about. Yebin swallows. 

"Is it ok if I kiss you?" she says, voice faint.

Minkyung inhales sharply. 

"Always." 

Then, Yebin closes the gap between their lips.

It's a strange sensation, ten thousand times amplified by the fact that Yebin is, for once, totally sober. Minkyung tastes bittersweet, like the burn of alcohol and the softness of sugar, and her hands are roaming to Yebin's waist, up to her neck, on her scalp. 

"You're too tall." Yebin says with a murmur.

"Let's sit." she replies breathily. They move to the bed, and Yebin's legs are straddling Minkyung's—and then they connect again, more passionate, less tentative and anxious. 

"Do you still have to vomit?" giggles Yebin.

Minkyung places a few light kisses on Yebin's cheeks.

"Nah."

She smiles, and her eyes turn upwards just slightly, the way they only do when she's filled with happiness, and Yebin feels special—like there's a secret Minkyung has that she gets to know. Her stomach feels like it's crawling with warmth, a gentle crackling fire of love. 

Minkyung's tongue slips in between Yebin's lips, and it's awkward at first, but the Minkyung guides her with her lips and her hands. She doesn't know really when they stop kissing—how much time has passed or if she's even breathing, but when she pulls away, there's something bursting from her chest.

Happiness. 

There's a long pause before Minkyung says something. 

"I think I'm going to have to break up with Joshua."

 

They walk down the hallway on the bottom floor, where Yebin had last watched Jeonghan and Joshua disappear.

Minkyung holds onto Yebin's hand as they reach the last door—she seems nervous, but Yebin doesn't know if it's the break up or coming out. 

She reaches for the handle, and doesn't knock, a decision which she'll slightly come to regret later. 

Joshua and Jeonghan are situated on the bed—but they're not just sitting. Jeonghan has Joshua under him, a few buttons on his buttondown popped open, and Joshua is holding onto Jeonghan, kissing him. 

Minkyung stands behind Yebin, eyes wide. 

"Joshua..."

The boy pulls away from the kiss, and swallows. 

"M-Minkyung, I promise it's not what it looks like-" Jeonghan nervously scuttles off top of Joshua, and Joshua nervously begins buttoning his shirt. "Babe, listen, I-" 

"Come outside. We need to talk." Minkyung gestures. 

 

Minkyung and Joshua sit on the porch swing out front of Wonwoo's house. It's almost 2am, and the sky hovers dark above, the street below silent and carless.

"I'm sorry."

"Feel like I've been hearing that one a lot lately." Minkyung mumbles to herself. "But I should apologize too."

"I'm gay." 

"Could've guessed by the way you were kissing a guy like five minutes ago." 

"I'm sorry for cheating."

"I don't love you."

Joshua gulps. "Oh." he says.

"I think I'm a lesbian." she says back.

"Oh." he says again, voice lilting with understanding.

"I'm in love with my best friend." 

"She's in love with you too."

"Yeah I kn- Hey... how do you know that?" 

Joshua laughs. "She kind of told me when she punched me in the face." 

"So I assume you're in love with the library assistant then?" 

"Pretty much."

"Funny how this ended up." Minkyung says. "Dated each other and found out we were gay." 

"Why'd you even date me?" Joshua asks.

"You were my last chance at being straight." 

"I suppose me too."

Minkyung looks at Joshua. 

"I guess this is the end." she says softly. 

"Yeah." he returns, and gives her a somber smile. 

"I'm scared." Minkyung whispers. "I don't know if I'm ready."

"To come out?"

"Yeah." She pulls up her knees, and tucks them behind her arms. "Do you ever wish you were a different person?" 

Joshua looks up at the moon, and Minkyung does too. 

"All the time." he says, then he gently places his hand on hers. "We'll be ok." 

"You're still a dick for cheating on me." she says slyly.

"Figured." 

Minkyung reaches into her pockets, and pulls out a small box of Tic-Tacs and puts one in her mouth.

"Want to go figure out where the fuck we go from here?" 

Joshua nods. "Let's do it." 

 

At 3am, everyone is gone, except Minkyung and Yebin, who are lying on Wonwoo's roof. The stars just barely twinkle overhead—the artificial lights of civilization have dulled them. The nighttime wind chills their limbs as they rest there, contemplating.

"Do you remember the first time we went stargazing?" Minkyung asks.

"Yeah. My dad took us up to that hill, and he let us use his telescope." 

"That was nice." She turns to Yebin. "Didn't we stargaze after prom too?" 

"Mhm. You know, I hated prom."

"Because I went with a guy?" 

"I guess. I don't know, really, I just was sad at that time."

Memories trail back to prom—Minkyung in her flowery pink dress, getting led out of a car by some boy in a tuxedo, Yebin in her suit, which she had decided to wear to show off just how lesbian she really was—and they feel tinged with sadness. Yebin can remember watching Minkyung and the boy dance, Seokmin was his name, and feeling impossibly lonely. Minkyung remembers the uncomfortable feeling of being locked in a closet with a boy during an afterparty round of Seven Minutes In Heaven, hating the way kissing him felt. The only good part was when Minkyung and Yebin had gone on top of the roof—just like now—and watched the stars for a while. 

"Did you mean it when you said you were jealous of me for coming out?"

"Fuck. I'm sorry, that was so embarrassing."

"But were you?"

"I mean, I don't know. I just wish I had known myself sooner than you had."

"I'm happy to know you now." Yebin says, and her breath comes out as a little puff of fog. She wonders if Minkyung is cold.

"I'm happy to know you too." Minkyung says back, and she grabs the other girl's hand, squeezing it tight.

Yebin takes another sip of her drink. 

"Want to go back inside?"

"Can we just stay outside here for a while?"

"Of course." She lies back down. She can't imagine ever feeling happier.


	10. Chapter 10

The sun rolls over Minkyung's face, and Yebin watches—she's woken up before Minkyung has, and as the warm glow of morning lights the girl she loves—it's hard for her not to smile. 

Minkyung rustles in her sleep, and slowly opens her eyes. It's a strange feeling sharing a bed with her, even though they've done it before, at sleepovers and family trips, but now, in the context Yebin finds herself currently, it's out of place. 

"Hey." Minkyung murmurs. "Thanks for letting me stay over after last night." 

"Anytime." Yebin responds gently. She supposes she has classes to go to, places to be, but right now—she doesn't want to be anywhere else.

 

"So... Do I order for you or do you order for yourself? I'm not very good at this whole date thing."

Eunwoo and Jieqiong are sitting, faces illuminated by warm candlelight, at a small table in a fancy resturaunt. 

"I'll order for myself." Jieqiong smiles.

Eunwoo had insisted they go somewhere nice for their first date—somewhere not Taeyeon's homely bar or just a coffeeshop—because she wanted it to feel special.

Now, she watches Jieqiong in the glow of the flickering flame below, her exaggerated expressions and all, and feels happy.

"I have a question." Eunwoo says.

"Mhm?"

"Did you ever really like Nayoung?"

Jieqiong looks up from her menu. 

"No. I tried to pretend so hard that maybe I'd believe it, but, it didn't work." She reaches a hand across the table. "You're the only one for me."

Eunwoo gives her a smile, stomach filled with butterflies—but not the bad kind, the kind you feel when you know you're with someone special.

"I love you." She pauses then, to look into her friend's—her girlfriend's—eyes. "And I'll love you tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Forever."

Jieqiong looks down, the way she does to hide embarrassment.

"You're so corny." she mumbles, yet she can't help but feel impossibly happy. 

 

"Yeah Dad. It's going ok. I'm taking English Literature like I promised."

Minkyung is lying on Yebin's chest, phone to her ear as her girlfriend plays with her hair, faint casual touches that had always happened as friends—but now they carry a new meaning with new context. 

"Mhm." Minkyung looks back at Yebin. "No, I'm not still single." She lets out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, you know them." Her hand reaches for Yebin's, finding it without her eyes ever drifting away from the ceiling, and grips it tight. She sighs. "It's not a boy dad. It's Yebin." There's a silence as the person on the other end of the line responds. "What I mean, Dad, is that I am dating Yebin. She's my girlfriend. In a romantic manner." Another pause. "I told you already, he and I broke up." Silence. Yebin watches Minkyung bite her lip. "No Dad. I'm not finding another boy because..." She swallows anxiously. "I don't like boys. I'm trying to fu-freaking tell you that I'm gay, Dad." There's a rim of tears in Minkyung's eyes. Yebin squeezes onto her hand tighter. "Yeah. Yeah. Why don't I just Skype both you guys later?" Pause. "I love you too. Tell Mom I love her too. Bye."

Minkyung puts down the phone, and uses her sleeve to wipe her eyes. "We're going to video call later to talk about it you know, face to face."

"I'm really proud of you, you know." Yebin says. 

Minkyung nuzzles her face in Yebin's neck. 

"I love you." she says, slightly muffled.

Yebin strokes Minkyung's hair. "I love you most."

 

"You seem happier lately." Yebin remarks, swirling her drink in her hand. She's sitting at the bar, next to Minkyung, hand in hers, across from Taeyeon.

"I met someone." Taeyeon says. 

"Do tell."

"Her name's Jessica. And that's about all you'll know before you go messing around in my personal life." Taeyeon replies, eyes narrowing.

"I am innocent." Yebin giggles.

Taeyeon gazes over at Sungyeon, who's sitting next to Yewon, head on her shoulder, sharing a soda. 

"Love is really in the air." she says. 

Minkyung presses a light kiss to Yebin's cheek. "It really is." 

 

"Thank you all so much for coming!" Eunwoo says into the mic. Their show has just ended—their biggest crowd yet. 

"Hey!" Seulgi says as they begin to walk offstage. "I have someone I want you guys to meet." Seulgi has taken over as an unofficial manager, aigning them up for shows in places other than the bar, making posters, and coordinating fundraising efforts for the band. "This is Sooyoung." She gestures to the woman next to her, tall, with a short bob of hair framing her face. 

"Hey." Sooyoung says politely. 

"Sooyoung's a producer."

Eunwoo's eyes widen. "A producer?"

"I want to help you guys put out an album."

"An actual album?" Jieqiong almost chokes.

Siyeon runs over. "If this involves money, I'm their songwriter. It's a package deal, I come with them."

Sooyoung chuckles. "Why don't we schedule a meaning to work out logistics? I'm very excited to work with you guys." 

Eunwoo's eyes sparkle with excitement. "This is the best day of my life."

 

Minkyung holds onto Yebin's hand. 

"Want to go back to your place?" she asks. The two of them are standing outside the bar, neon light casting a green glow on their figures. 

"Actually," Yebin proposes, "want to go climb the cherry tree and watch the stars from there?" She shakes off her jacket, and gently places it on Minkyung's shoulders. "So you won't be cold, here."

"Let's do it." Minkyung says softly. She lets Yebin rest her head on her shoulder. 

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its done!! thank u sm for reading n ill be coming back with another fic very soon


End file.
